he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
