new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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