so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
