# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
50% drunk capacity currently
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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