bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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