how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
