hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
