Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
