she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
