Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
