I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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