Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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