I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
