Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
