Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
