Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize