Pants 0. Shit 1.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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