two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
