Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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