yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
