Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
