So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Houston, we have a squirter
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
