sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
how does that bad decision feel?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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