I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
