I puked a lego.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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