Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Vodka?
Forever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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