Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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