My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
