Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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