Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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