Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
