I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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