Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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