Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
