So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I will be naked everywhere
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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