kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
