Christians are straight up FREAKS
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
