Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's shark week go big or go home
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
