in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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