Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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