Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
