I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just had sex bonerless
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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