talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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