i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You made out with two different species that night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
