I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
