you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
