Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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