The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Two words: nipple clamps
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