I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
