If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
