Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
