just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
