Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
