Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
