The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
