haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
