did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
