This girl is more easily done than said...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
