This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This baby is an asshole
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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