Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
