is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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