I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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