Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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