Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
