This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
