Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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