And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
