I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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