Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
