Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
