Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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