Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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