i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
